my dad’s legacy

23 10 2006

Yesterday was my dad’s birthday.  Sometimes I still miss him…  He passed away about 19 years ago, when I was just 13.  His death was very sudden, with no warning signs whatsoever — just a blood clot near his heart in the middle of the night.  And in an instant, my world was turned upside-down.  I really didn’t know how life could go on, how I could make it.  Nothing anybody could do would make me feel better.  I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t want to eat, and I didn’t want to talk to anybody.  In my desperation, I cried out to God, because I needed Him.  I had known about God, but I didn’t personally know Him until that point.  He met me at my time of crisis, and He gave me peace and comfort and love when I couldn’t find those things elsewhere.  And since then, God has been so faithful to me, revealing Himself more and more.

I know my dad is in Heaven now, because he lived for God and was faithful to Him.  He devoted his life to raising my brother and me right, and he was involved on the praise team at church, and he tried to live a life pleasing to God.  (Not that works save you, but because of his faith he did good works.)  I’m glad he doesn’t have to deal with back pains and the rough times of this life anymore.  But sometimes I still miss him.  And sometimes I wonder what life would’ve been like if he had been around longer.  But I really can’t complain, because God took that bad situation and worked it out for good (as He promises in Romans 8:28).  Through the pain and hardship, I met God personally.  And it forced me to grow up more, to help with my family (because I was the oldest son).  And it made me really cherish my dad and what he stood for, even when I was still a teenager.  His influence is still impacting me, making me want to become a great man of God.  I’m very thankful for the legacy he left.

Thinking about my dad’s life also makes me consider the temporary nature of this life.  We aren’t guaranteed tomorrow.  I still remember the night my dad passed away — it was just a normal evening, until his death.  I have no assurance that I will live a long life, so I need to do all I can every day to accomplish God’s will.  And I don’t want to take my family and friends for granted.

Occasionally I still meet people who knew my dad, and they always have a great testimony of how he influenced their life in a good way.  When it’s my time to leave this earth, I want to leave behind a legacy that glorifies God, like my dad did.

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3 responses

23 10 2006
mzmobo

wow.

I remember a few weeks before my grandma went home (just last month—she was 98). It is one of my most precious memories. She talked about the “good times” when I was a little girl playing at her feet and as I tucked her in bed she told me she was proud of me. Grandma wasn’t talking about my current vocation, my domestic skills, or even my church choice. She was proud-to-popping-buttons of my love relationship with my Savior. She left this world confident in knowing that the Word was working in my life, that I travailed in prayer, and that my foundations were sure.

She wasn’t one to waste time. She only rested when she was too tuckered to go on, never watched TV unless it was the news or a preacher of choice, and never sat idle without reading her Bible or sometimes working search-a-word puzzles. She never lay down at night without reading her Bible and her blessings at meal time were always some of the sweetest prayers I ever heard. She even adhered to saying, “if it be the Lord’s will” when making any future plans. She accepted Christ as her Savior at the age of 45 and never looked back. She was 85 when she received the baptism of the Holy Spirit—I felt very blessed to witness that.

As I was praying (and crying) the other night over a test I’m in, I curled up in the recliner in my prayer closet with Psalm 91 in my lap and a pillow I’d made Grandma. As I talked to the Lord and quoted scripture I looked at that pillow and found myself hoping she could still see me seeking Jesus with all of my heart even in the midst of the storm. I want more then anything to hear “Well done, good and faithful servant,” from my Lord, and then I want to turn around and hear my Grandma say, “I’m so proud of you, sister.”

Legacies are incredible. Those who leave them are priceless. I want to be priceless, too. I also want Grandma to be proud of me for the way I raise her great-granddaughters–and to hear the Lord say to them, “Well done.”)

6 03 2007
Still waiting....

Glad you feel that way about your dad. I, on the other hand, must deal with a different reality that is difficult to remove from my landfill of pain. (wipes away a few tears as this is written)…

I walk the line
Leave it all behind
I’ve been waiting forever
Lets go back in time
When I could read your mind
Still I’ve been waiting

It took the seasons going by
To know its not my fault

I tried to be perfect, tried to be honest
Tried to be everything that you ever wanted
I tried to be stronger, tried to be smarter
Tried to be everything but you

Its been so long
Since you’ve been home
I used to wait up forever
I used to say a prayer
Wishing you were there
And I’m still waiting

You told me once
You’d show up
But I fell for that
Before I fell to pieces
Then I woke up
To no one,
Just a picture of Jesus
And a house left in pieces

It took the seasons going by
To know its not my fault

I tried to be perfect, tried to be honest
Tried to be everything that you ever wanted
I tried to be stronger, tried to be smarter
Tried to be everything but you

I wanted you
I need you
I want to believe you
I wanted you
I need you
I want to believe you

I tried to be perfect, tried to be honest
tried to be everything but you

I tried to be perfect, tried to be honest
Tried to be everything that you ever wanted
I tried to be stronger, tried to be smarter
Tried to be everything but you

lyrics by Hawk Nelson

8 03 2007
Beppo

I think most people don’t realize how much children are impacted by divorce or negligent parents. It’s sad that there are so many kids out there without two loving parents (mom & dad) to care for them and love them and teach them how to grow up into who they should be.

I have several friends who are now adults but still have to deal with issues resulting from missing parents. It’s difficult to overcome that past, because the “missing pieces” of life are rooted so deep. These missing needs often drive kids to worldly things like sex, drugs, gangs, etc. Parents have a huge responsibility with their children.

It’s sad that the mainstream society has no problem with tearing down the family unit. I suspect most people don’t realize how our current actions are planting seeds for our future, and we will reap what we sow.

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